March Madness

Crazy Americans in San Antonio for the 2008 NCAA Final Four Championship

It's that time of year again. In a little over 2 hours the biggest and best tournament in all of sports will begin. Who is this year's Cinderella? Which team will live up to expectations? How will the mid-majors fair? Who will step up and become this year's Most Outstanding Player (MOP)? These questions and more are about to be answered in the next three and half weeks.

Is your bracket finished? I hope so. It doesn't really get more American than sports, all day, on CBS. 16 games today and tomorrow to start the Madness.

Last year's finale was an epic one. Two of my friend's were lucky enough to be there and share in a piece of history -- see above. What an American experience. They actually drove from Iowa on Saturday night after KU knocked off North Carolina. Drove all night and all day for the game on Monday night. They were in attendance when Mario Chalmers gave a metaphorical "Rock Chalk" to the Tigers of Memphis.

Let the fun begin for the 2009 tourney!

The Pet Rock

Uh-merican Product Line
(Does NOT have to originate in America, just bring joy to Americans)


The pet rock started in the 1970's by an advertising executive named Gary Dahl in California. The stones were from Baja California, Mexico and marketed as actual pets, complete with a training manual on how to care for the non-moving, non-living "pet." The cost, a mere $3.95. In just over six months Dahl became a millionaire.

Only in America could a guy like Dahl take advantage of so many people. I know I have probably paid for dumb things in my lifetime, like Keds shoes or canned beets, but seriously, a rock?

In art class in 3rd grade we made our own pet rocks. The exercise was fantastic because we were responsible for bringing in our own rock. For the guys, this set-up two things 1) we competed to find the coolest, most unique rock and 2) we talked trash to each other when we did. Friendly competition. After a couple days of searching we brought our rocks into art class and added characteristics with paint, markers, chalk, etc. My rock was red with those eyes that bounce and forth, forcing my rock to be cross-eyed half the time. Similar to parenting, there is no correct manual for raising a pet rock, I had to learn on the fly.

Much like my rock from the 3rd grade, only better

"Hey, youuuuu guuuuuuysssssss"

Boston Terrier pet rock; this is creepy

Kenny Powers

...is a pretty American dude.

New US Citizenship Test

This was sent to me by my friend Erik. It is 30 questions, and they tell you immediately if your answer is correct or not. Some are tricky, so watch out. I missed 5. After this post I will immediately re-watch Rocky IV to see Rocky fend off the USSR and Wrestlemania III to witness Hulk Hogan defeat the biggest man in the world, Andre the Giant. This should raise my American stock to a livable level once again.

http://noticias.aol.com/inmigracion/quiz/citizenship

NJ & NY

After our DC escapades and fighting traffic outside of Baltimore thanks to a pretty fierce accident, we rolled on to south New Jersey. There, in Toms River, home to the 1998 Little League World Series Champions, lives my Aunt T and Uncle Mark. They housed us for a night and took us to a solid meal at Benihana. The always interesting Aunt T now has a Facebook. Check her out. Please add her.

From there,we went up to Manhattan to celebrate our friend Nolan’s 23rd birthday. We met up with another Arizona girl back in New York for work, Ashley, and took off for some food and drinks.

After some really excellent margaritas we met up with some more of Nolan’s friends and headed out for the rest of the night. No more than a block from Nolan’s apartment we encountered an interesting situation. Nolan of all people, on his own birthday, attempted to walk around a corner while another patron of the city continually shoved and rod him into a wall. Nolan got a little mouthy, but none of us were prepared for what this crazy fuck did next.

And I quote, “You think you’re a tough guy? How about I cut your fuckin’ throat?”

Then he reached in his jacket and pulled out a swithblade with a blue handle. Nolan’s friend Greg pulled Nolan away while the crazy fuck’s friend did a karate move to my left. Yes, karate. This was the most humorous part once we reflected on the situation later. He squatted, crossed his arms like a disabled, aged Bruce Lee, said “You wanna fuckin’ go?”, but then forgot he still had on his shitty track jacket. So, he uncrossed his arms to take his jacket off while his silver over-sized chain hit him in the face. Classic.

Although that part was purely hilarious, the situation could have gotten a whole lot worse. Thankfully, our clear heads prevailed and we enjoyed the rest of our night. Excitement never seems to leave us alone.

DC

Our 3 days in DC started off with the “We Are One’ concert on Sunday. This concert featured many well-known artists and actors, such as Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi, John Legend, Tom Hanks, Samuel L. Jackson, Denzel Washington, U2, and Beyonce. The concert took place on the Lincoln Memorial with fields of observers stretching to the Washington Monument. For those unfamiliar with that distance, its approx. 4,000 ft. I personally could not see any of the live action from my vantage point, but I had a great view of a monitor. Many great Presidents of the past were quoted, slideshows of our nations history were presented, and of course music acts performed sparingly.

President Obama got up on stage at the end to a rock star’s welcome and spoke for a couple of minutes. Personally, I felt that the concert was the highlight of the inauguration events because influential artists were supplemented with speeches rooted in our history. And to be honest, we were witnessing history. This event was very fitting and started off a wild couple of days.
The day before the inauguration was also a busy, intense day down near the capital. People were everywhere – historical monuments to all of the Smithsonian’s. However, the atmosphere was very electric. Vendors lined the streets showcasing their custom Obama gear. Hot dog carts staked out the busiest corners to increase revenue. Every five feet there was a picture being taken by a visitor/Obama fan. People of all different ages, races, and sexes lined the blocks, disobeying traffic laws and sightseeing before the epic Tuesday swearing in ceremony.

Erik and I were staying with Brian Stoffel, a 2004 Grinnell graduate who lives in DC. We had planned to wake up about 5 o’clock, hit the train down to the mall area, and brave the elements for the ceremony. At about 10 o’clock Monday night we received word from another Grinnell grad, Stacie Kossoy, about possibly receiving 3 tickets for the inauguration parade – one for Brian, Erik, and myself. Stacie had tickets to all three events, the ceremony, parade, and a ball. The “superiors” in charge stated that it would be nearly impossible to get into the inauguration ceremony and parade due to the addition of 2 million people to the area and intense security restrictions. We debated for a while and decided that having tickets was definitely more secure than trying to maneuver our way through those 2 million people.

On Tuesday, we got up about 8:30, ate breakfast, showered, drank some beers, and walked about 20 minutes down to our parade entrance. We got to the area around 11 am and watched Obama getting sworn in with about 200 other people, mostly parade go-ers, on a mall food court television. The venue didn’t matter; we were witnessing history. We entered the parade at 1 pm, with the scheduled start to be at 2:30. A delay due to the Ted Kennedy having a seizure did nothing more than allow us to meet some other parade go-ers, such as a lady from Dallas, two ladies’s from California, and two younger girls from the DC area.

The parade floated by soon enough and the excitement built as we heard Obama and Biden were in the front of the parade and on foot. With security holding up their end of the bargain, the stands were fairly empty. We pressed the guardrail that was patrolled by Seattle’s finest. Unfortunately, Obama got back into his limo for our stretch of the parade. Biden was still out on foot and gave us a generous wave as Stoffel yelled, “HEY, JOE!!!”

Being in DC for the inauguration of Barack Obama was something pretty special. My excitement level was sheer giddiness. The environment was spectacular; everyone had a positive outlook on America’s future beyond this historic moment. You could easily strike up a conversation with anybody, knowing you had strong common ground. The attendees were enthused, happy, confident, and ready for this change. I was more than glad to be physically in attendance; something I will never forget.

Us at the parade

Obama speaking at the concert

Some neat Obama art on our way to the parade

History

Today we as Americans are witnessing history. Fortunately for myself and friends, the late addition of 3 tickets has secured our attendance for the inauguration parade this afternoon. I hope everyone enjoys today's inauguration speech, parade, and other events. Thank you America for democracy.

Chicago, IL

Quick stops in Lincoln and Grinnell put us on our way to Chicago to see some friends from Scottsdale, AZ. Two bold girls and friends of ours, Rachel and Terra, decided they would move to Chicago starting in January. Crazy girls. Anyhow, the weather during our 4 day stay was outrageous. Coldest winter in 8 years. Negative temperatures, wind chill, snow, more wind chill, frozen feet and hands. However, we made the most of it and actually toured the city on a -8 day.

Our first night in Chicago we tested the 4 AM bar closer time and successfully won. Although Rachel won as well, cleaning the fresh snow off of school slides on our way home. She is more than likely a superhero for the little kids who arrived at school the next day. $15 "Top Floor Teas" on the 95th floor of the Hancock Building the next day was followed with the Grant Park tour and another eventful night at the bar. To keep it short and sweet, I broke Das Boot. I am a horrible person. Then we got booted (pun) from the bar.

On our last night, Erik and I tailgated Terra's workday. With coffee cups carrying wine, we navigated our way downtown and celebrated the end of her work week. We then traveled to Navy Pier, saw a stained glass exhibit, and took $5 shots immediately after. After that it was off to Wrigleyville with Terra and some of her ASU friends, as well as Bryan, a friend from Grinnell. Let's just say I had a long, dark night at the bar.

The next day we woke up, said our goodbyes, and headed towards D.C. for the inauguration of the 44th President of the United States, Barack Obama. Time to make history.

- Rachel and Erik on the 95th floor of the Hancock building -

- Navy Pier and some crazy bus action -

- Flag on top of the Wrigley Building -

- Our super gracious hosts in Grant Park -

- The bean with a view of the buildings -

- Stained glass exhibit on Navy Pier -

Aspen, CO

Our trip carried on from Mississippi to Lincoln, NE via Arkansas, Oklahoma, and Kansas. A one night stay with the Rok's family and we were on our way to Aspen. We picked up my old roommate Remy and his new roommate Steve, who was later dumped in Denver. Aspen was reached 11 PM Thursday night.

We rolled into Aspen for 2 days of intense skiing/boarding. It helped that we stayed with another old roommate of mine for 3 years, Mr. Benjamin Westfeldt, because we got discounted lift passes and equipment as his parents are ski instructors and he works at the ski shop at the base of the mountain. Our first day was full of powder thanks to an early morning storm. This made my falls a little easier to take. Remy went into his first day ever on ski's on Friday and by Saturday afternoon he was tearing up black diamonds. And the Rok repped AZ pretty solid.

Another benefit was some new construction on the base of Snowmass which had a place called Sneaky's. After an intense day it was a blessing to purchase multiple $3 pints of Blue Moon. By Sunday night we were back in Lincoln and ready to hit I-80 East towards Chicago.

- The Rok jumping jumps -

- Crazy snow and a ski lift -

- Top of the mountain -

- The Rok and Remy on the lift -

Oxford, MS

After our Cotton Bowl adventure, we decided to head to see some of the south. Particularly, New Orleans and Oxford, MS. Oxford is where Ole Miss is at and about 5 hrs. north of N.O. It was an ideal distance after a long night/morning in N.O.

We rolled into Oxford at about 7 PM and found our night's residence at the opportunely named Ole Miss Motel. For $52 we got a smoke-filled room, plastic lined comforters and lights, lounge chair, and scuffed up walls. As Erik approached the attendant for our future fabulous room he was asked a rather outrageous question from another local: "You got any p*ssy for sale?" Erik replied, "Huh?" The man repeated, "Do YOU have any p*ssy for sale?" The reply, "No." The man continued, "Where you from pilgrim?" "Arizona," Erik replied while wearing his Arizona Cardinals hoodie. "I can see that," the man replied. Erik proceeded to secure the room by asking for one with 2 beds, "For 2 dicks, no p*ssies." The man came back with "Don't get smart with me, boy!" Soon after, we were enjoying the comforts of our room.

Later that night we got to experience a little bit of the Ole Miss nightlife. Turns out, the nightlife is short-lived. The bars in Mississippi close at 12 AM. Moreover, beer sold in convenient stores is non-refrigerated. Apparently this is an attempt to cut down on drinking and driving. If you ask me, I just feel like Mississippi is approximately 35 years behind most of the rest of America.

We met some nice Ole Miss people and ended our night with a game of beer pong. Mississippi was definitely a different experience for both Erik and I. However, it was worth the trip north and a pleasant mix-up for both of us.

- Our sweet room -

- We just walked onto the field. It was pretty sweet -

New Orleans

*Devil's Playground
*Everyone has a trick up their sleeve
*Intense
*Organized chaos
*Fried Gator
*Neon lights
*3 for 1 beers
*Hurricane slush drink
*Shot girls
*American Amsterdam
*Bad life decisions

- Bourbon Street pre-craziness -

- Erik and I with some enthusiastic Utah fans -

- New Orleans Skyline -

Hotty Toddy!

After the Armed Forces Bowl on the last day of December (Houston 34-28) our (i.e. Jonathan, Chad, Rob, and Erik) trip took us to Dallas on January 2nd for the 73rd and last Cotton Bowl at the Cotton Bowl Stadium. The 2010 game will be played at the new Cowboys Stadium, which ironically sat 2 blocks from our hotel in Arlington and is currently under construction. The game featured the high-powered Texas Tech offense versus the resurgent Ole Miss Rebels.

I went into the game rooting for Ole Miss because this past summer I read two great books with Ole Miss ties – The Blind Side by Michael Lewis and Meat Market by Bruce Feldman. The latter of the two dealt with an entire season of recruiting leading up to the 2007 National Signing Day for the Rebels. Although Houston Nutt, not Ed Orgeron, is now the head coach of the Rebels, many recruits of Orgeron’s were playing pivotal roles in the turnaround season from 3-8 to 8-4.

Another interesting dynamic of Ole Miss football games is The Grove. The full linked article will explain the atmosphere in its entirety. I can attest that The Grove moved to Dallas. Co-eds in dresses with pearls around their necks. Guys in slacks or khakis accompanied by button down Polo shirts, some with ties. Older couples, mostly alumni, dressed as if they were attending business meetings. Blonde-haired women a plenty. Southern gentlemen with the exact same haircut (somewhat long on the top, somewhat shorter on the sides). It was like a whole different culture and definitely intriguing.

Our seats were in the Ole Miss section. It was here where we learned even more about Ole Miss fans – they can drink. As Jesse, a 33-year old fan explained, “We may not win every game, but we sure do win every party!” He was right. His wife snuck in vodka in a flask that imitated a cell phone. He had Bourbon, the main drink of choice for Rebel fans. Everyone in our section was wasted and chanting after every decent Rebels play:

Hotty Toddy
Are you ready? Hell yes! Damn Right!
Hotty Toddy, Gosh almighty
Who in the hell are we - Hey
Flim Flam, Bim Bam
Ole Miss By Damn!

Check out some of the pictures from the game. All-in-all it was a great 5 days down in Texas. We saw three great bowl games and had plenty of fun. Now its off to New Orleans for Erik and myself!

Jonathan, Chad, myself, and Rob
outside of the Cotton Bowl

View from our seats, up high

Journey

Not the band. This journey is across America. It began on Sunday from AZ and it will end there. However, in between, will involve numerous areas within the continental United States. Right now I am fresh of a viewing of the Valero Alamo Bowl -- an OT victory for Missouri over Northwestern 30-23. San Antonio is a nice little city and the riverwalk remains a great feature. Now, its on to the Ft. Worth/Dallas area to catch 2 more bowl games -- the Armed Forces Bowl and the Cotton Bowl.

Merry Christmas

Umm, yeah. Merry Christmas -- compliments of Mark Teixeira.

Rihanna

I drove from Iowa to Arizona this past Friday/Saturday. I left at 11am Friday morning from Grinnell, IA and arrived in Pinetop, AZ at 2pm Saturday afternoon -- 27 hours. So, a 22-hour ride, 5-hour hotel stay, and 1-hour gain due to time change. This feat was done solo and only because of Rihanna. Seriously, the girl has talent. I downloaded numerous tunes right before I left and every time I was beginning to feel fatigued I would put on my Recently Added playlist (a.k.a. all Rihanna). My two favorites are obvious: "Live Your Life" (T.I. feat. Rihanna) and "Disturbia." Thank you Rihanna for keeping me attentive on my journey.

C.C. & A.J.

Let me start off by saying that I am a huge Yankees fan. I grew up with a strong NY sports influence and have followed religiously ever since my early years. I went back to NY this past summer to see my last game in the old Yankee Stadium. It was a fabulous time; there is a great blog post from July about it.

I just read Buster Olney's evaluation of the new additions to the Yankees -- C.C. Sabathia and A.J. Burnett. It got me thinking. Before his stint with ESPN, Olney worked for The New York Times and wrote about the Yankees. He also has written The Last Night of the Yankees Dynasty, which discusses why the 2001 World Series was lost and why a World Series pennant hasn't graced the Stadium since 2000. I stopped reading halfway through to start football camp in 2005. I'll get back to it sometime.

I had been pondering about these signings ever since they became official last week. My immediate, negative thought purely consisted of the length of these contracts. Sabathia got 7 years and Burnett 5 years. For two power pitches, Burnett more so than Sabathia, the contract seems long. The arm of a pitcher takes on so much wear and tear over time. Sabathia pitched 253 innings last year, Burnett 221, both setting career highs. Although pitching every 5 days, pitchers are the most injured position in baseball and as a Yankees fan I cannot help but be scarred by long deals from past (i.e. Carl Pavano, about $2 million per start). However, Sabathia is 28, the contract will carry him to his mid-thirties. With an opt-out clause after his 3rd year, the contract doesn't seem so reckless as it first appeared. Burnett's deal is scary to me. He has had arm troubles in the past, is 32 years old, and looks like he is throwing out his arm with every fastball. His contract will carry him past his mid-thirties. Risky? For me, yes. The Yankees need him to perform like Roger Clemens did when they traded for him in 1999.

The one good thing is that the payroll will be down this year from the ~$210 million spent in 2008; as $88 million came off the books. Don't get me wrong, it will still be high, but the production from the 2009 payroll should be higher per dollar with the loss of high profile free agents who never quite panned out (again Pavano). For now, I am somewhat content with direction of the team. By picking up these free agents the Yankees are allowing their young pitchers to gain more experience. As we saw last year, throwing them into the fire did not work. I guess time will tell.

Army-Navy Football Game

This football game is about as American as the sport can get. Young men playing for pride, serving our country, with nothing more on the line than respectful competition. There is no ticket to the NFL up for grabs for these players. Remember last year? Caleb Campbell, a safety from Army was drafted with pick 218 by the Lions. The Army gave him and the NFL the go-ahead before the draft, only to call Campbell to duty the day before he was officially ready to start training camp.

For this years game, the 109th in the series, Nike collaborated with Army and Navy to create a set of new "Enforcer" uniforms. The Army uniforms feature a camouflage helmet, pants, and numbers on a black jersey. Moreover, the saying "Duty. Honor. Country." is featured on the back of their jerseys. Two sayings are also on the pants - the right leg says "West Point" while the left leg reads "Boots on the Ground," the traditional Army slogan.

The Navy uniforms entail navy shoulder boards with gold trim, honoring the wings of the Blue Angel plane. The jersey has the Marines globe and anchor logo and the pants replicate officer pants, with the red office blood stripe down the legs.

Photo courtesy of ESPN.com

Each player also wore a patch designating their unit in the Army or Navy. The final score was 34-0 in favor of Navy. It is great to not only watch this game every year, but to take in the raw emotion and strong sense of pride that each of these young men carry with them. Thanks to Nike for supplementing the game with new threads that embody the spirit of this competition.

98 Cents

Last Friday night I went to Wal-Mart with a couple friends (Kim and Lauren) to pick up some ingredients for Asian pudding (I mean, it could have had a better name, but was still delicious). On our escapade I decided to buy a Red Bull. It had been a long day and with our pending fort building, movie watching, and eventual sleepover in the cards, I knew I had to be on top of my game. The red bull was $1.83. I thought for sure I would be safely under $2. Nope. The cashier rung up the beverage and said the total was $2.02. I turned to my friends, pleading for change. My pleads turned into a blatantly obvious whining attempt for the attendant to just offer 2 cents to me. Kim had zero change and the cashier didn't take the bait. I quickly searched for the "Pennies for Everyone" bowl. No dice. I then directly asked her, "Do you have 2 cents I could use? I really don't want to get 98 cents back." Stone-faced,while acting like she was browsing her surroundings, she said "No I ain't got 2 cents." I thought to myself: No way is this happening. I forked over $3 and the cashier, while handing me my receipt, said "And 98 cents is your change." NO SHIT! I knew that. I didn't want 98 cents to be my change. I pleaded, whined, begged not to get 98 cents back and lost some dignity in doing so.

There is nothing more painful to me than getting 95+ cents back on the purchase of an item. One of the top three things I cannot stand. It makes me crazy. Absolutely crazy. American mandate should include a designated "Pennies for Everyone" bowl at EVERY place of business in America. I mean, this pain should be inflicted on the people. It can easily be avoided.

Women

WAKE UP AMERICA --
We can all thank Nolan Ticer for sending me this link in a Facebook message about 3 weeks ago. It has multiple attractive women wearing (little) clothing honoring America. Thanks Nolan for the prideful eye candy you bestow upon us. You are the blogs honorary American for the time being. . .

San Antonio, TX

I was "down in the heart of Texas" for the marriage of Dell Swain to Christoper "Jonny" Villa this past weekend. Weddings bring together friends, booze, memories, and crazy events. This wedding did not disappoint.

First off, I went to the liquor store to collect some beverages on the night of the rehearsal dinner. As I accumulated the requests (i.e. Skyy Vodka, Cocoa-Cola, and Coors Light) I crossed 16 oz. cans of Busch Light. If you know me, I am a huge fan of the 16 oz. cans (see last weekends post). There remained something different about these cans though. Upon further inspection of the can, this was no normal Busch Light - it was a "TEXAS" Busch Light. Yes, the cans say "TEXAS" on them just in case you were confused about your whereabouts. You can see the red writing above the Busch on the can and the picture of Texas after the Light of the can:


Later that night the pure TEXAS Busch Lights were drank as many fellow Grinnellians flew in to San Antonio and checked into the hotel. Luckily, the open layout of the Presidential Suite allowed us to play many enjoyable games such as caps and poker. As many of our friends were heading to bed, a crew of us felt it necessary to experience the culture of the city. So, at 3 AM we decided to get into a cab and head towards one of those 24-hour clubs (think about it). On the way we asked our cab driver, Anthony, a simple question: Where can we get alcohol at 3 AM? He knew the answer. After a quick call to his buddy and some negotiations (we offered $20), we ended up on a dark block of manufactured homes in San Antonio. $25 bucks later we had a half full bottle of cheap tequila. Black market, previously opened, generic, cheap, 2-foot high gold trimmed bottle of tequila. Anthony waited to turn on his meter until we left his friend's house. Nice guy. We traded pulls from the bottle (terrible decisions) until we entered the club.

After our rendezvous at the club, Anthony picked us up. He had stored the tequila in the back panel of the cab van (yes, this is true). After a quick story about his van being searched by the local police (I was skeptical at his story) and 5-minute wait for Ken (groomsman) to get a phone number we were headed back to the hotel, bottle in hand. We strolled into the Crowne Plaza Hotel at 5:15 AM with our bottle and an Obama CD with a 5:24 song on it. However, our dignity was gone and either left on that dark block or somewhere in the back of Anthony's van.

The wedding went well the next night. I was thankful for a long day of rest, as my roommates know well. The ceremony was in a beautiful church in downtown San Antonio and the reception was definitely one of a kind. Trey Raney had the servers wrapped around his fingers as they were making custom quesadillas for him all night (just chicken w/ BBQ sauce). Along with a great cover band, which rocked their second and final set, other highlights included mashed potatoes in martini glasses, "going 100 m.p.h.," and new dance moves. After the reception, many Grinnellians sported Christmas sweaters out on the town to celebrate and continue the streak of the sweater party, as many people would not find it suitable in their schedules to travel back-to-back months to continue the December function.

I wish Dell and Chris a lifetime of happiness. Thanks to all for some of the most ridiculous times I have had in awhile.