Budweiser bought by Belgian brewers

Yes, this is true. Thanks to the help of Nathan "Jizzly Bear" Lindsey and my Aunt, mass hysteria has now hit the blog. How is Budweiser so American as show by receiving 7 votes thus far, but yet, is not actually American? The poll is left up to the people, but the people must be correctly informed.

Here is the news brief from Yahoo:

" InBev, brewers of Stella Artois, have bought Budweiser makers, Anheuser-Busch for 52 billion dollars. Bud Light's new relationship to Stella makes it more socially acceptable for impoverished Bohemians to enjoy."

Total Gym Commercial

"The Total Gym does it all" - Chuck Norris

I know the whole Chuck Norris fad died about 2 years ago, as it should have. Nonetheless, there are some spectacular mustaches in this video. Intense mustaches by Norris and Wesley Snipes. Yes, Wesley Snipes. Enjoy a slice of Americana by these two actors. And their abs are fantastic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzE0FOPiaDU

Most American Beer Poll

New addition to the left of the blog, right under the bald eagle. It resides underneath the picture for a reason. In voting, you are not voting for the "best" beer, nor are you voting for the "cheapest drunk" or "most satisfying." You are voting for MOST American.

That is, when you take a sip, do you think of bald eagles? Red, white, and blue? The Constitution? Blue-collar workers? George Washington? Bill Clinton? Ford? Chevy? Steaks? Grilling? Bad life decisions?

All brands/companies include light, regular, ice, etc. types of beer.

Happy American voting. Feel free to leave comments if you want to justify your choice. A discussion on beers is super American.

RAGBRAI

Register's Annual Great Bicycle Ride Across Iowa



Cycling (minus the ever-ongoing slate of doping scandals) is a pretty American event, especially when it takes place among the corn stalks of God's country. That would be Iowa for all of you non-Midwesterners. RAGBRAI 2008 is nearly over as it raps up tomorrow. However late this post may be in that regard, I found it necessary to share a couple tidbits of info:

Recent Grinnell College grads Sofia Skraba, Benj Wagman, Sean Miller, and Calvin Dane are working (and/or partying) at RAGBRAI this year. They have been all over the U.S. working for a traveling company that coordinates storing goods and setting up tents for fellow riders. Great American summer job.

Ted Schultz, Grinnell College's Sports Information Director, as well as a valid American, has been blogging from the road. Ted has just finished up his first year at Grinnell and has done a far superior job covering Pioneer athletics than his previous predecessors. Please click the link and read some of his material; he is pretty humorous while also maintaining the ability to relay valuable information regarding the race. Finish up strong Ted!

Dream Team (?) Jerseys

It has been awhile since our men's Olympic basketball team has won gold (since 2000). In fact, in 2004, the men's team lost 3 games total on their way to a bronze medal; more losses than in all the other Olympics combined. Talk about an UnAmerican showing in Athens. Too much Ouzo for our American players? One would think. . .

Whatever the case was in 2004, I feel much stronger and more AMERICAN this year. Coach K will do some wonders and no Chinese, Argentinian, or Polish player for that matter will be able to stop Kobe, LeBron, and D-Wade on the perimeter. Too early to give them the nickname synonymous with champions of the past - "Dream Team?"

Check out these sweet jerseys found at Eastbay. Try to forget about the Yi jersey on the website. Eastbay should pull it off of there. Dude is definitely not from the states.

Triplets Join Marines

Found this story in the National Enquirer on my plane ride to AZ. Didn't know how valid the story was until today when I googled it.

Encouraging to see the strong Patriotism shared by these triplets.

New Hats

Brand new New Era City-Skyline Fireworks hats. Perfect complement to the American Flag caps shown a couple weeks ago.

Mile High Music Festival

I just got back from a 2-day festival in Denver. It was full of music, sun, beer, and people. You can find the lineup here.

The whirlwind trip started with a departure from Grinnell. Jonathan Antrim, William Schwaller, and myself hit the town of Salina, KS up for a couple days. Activities in Kansas included the new Batman movie and pool basketball. Then, we took off through western Kansas towards Denver.

On our way, we spotted a 50+ male with American flag socks at the Oasis truck stop (less impressive than the I-80 truck stop). I attempted to document the socks, but my camera phone was not up to the task. So, take my word for it.

We ended up stopping for gas and got this great picture. Thanks Schwaller.


We met Ms. Haddie Dowson in Denver. And ate $38 worth of Del Taco the first night. The festival was a great time. Each day contained over 12 hrs of music. There were 5 stages and music was always being played. Lupe Fiasco, State Radio, and Flobots were my personal favorites. Here are the rest of the fun facts from this weekend:

- Pocket t-shirts are very prevalent in truck stops, on truck drivers, and on Schwaller
- $8 for 22 oz. of beer is pricey, but necessary when the thermometer readings are close to 100 degrees
- You are not allowed to yell "Party" at an outdoor festival. The venue is a gigantic party metaphor. Repetition is just not necessary.
- "Horchata" sounds like "Tostada" when you go through a drive-thru
- An area is qualified as a bad neighborhood by a plethora of check cashing businesses, liquor stores, and discount motels (see Colfax Ave. in Denver).

Nothing beats listening to music all day with your friends. A Mile High American weekend.

Friends Help

Thanks to the help of 2 friends of mine, I am able to spread the American spirit.

Claire Reeder gave me a call the other night. After I missed the call, she left a great message about being at her cousin's lake house:

"One of his friends says, 'Dude, hold this burger while I'll take a pee.' I say, isn't that so classy? He says, 'No its American!'"

Super American. Thanks Claire.

Today I received a picture message from a 602 number. I was uncertain as to who it was from, but opened it anyway. It was a picture of the cover of Newsweek asking who matters more, Lincoln or Darwin? In a twist, Erik Hubl texts me right after and explains the cover. He then asks who is more American? His vote, as well as mine, go to Lincoln.

I appreciate the relayed Americanism.

Reading, PA

This decently sized city of approximately 84,000 Americans resides about an hour and fifteen minutes from the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia. The main attraction in this wonderful city is not the pagoda built in 1908, but the double-A affiliate to the Philadelphia Phillies, the Reading Phillies. Considering that Arizona is a hotbed for premier baseball players, it was no surprise that 2 Arizona boys were not only listed in our program, but one was pitching to the other when we entered the stadium (picture to the right). J.D. Durbin, who oddly enough was the best man in my sister's wedding a mere 2 years ago, pitched for 6 and 2/3 of an inning in a 6-2 Phils win. On the receiving end of J.D.'s pitches was Lou Marson, a 22-year old catcher that was recently selected to participate in the All-Star Futures Game taking place at Yankee Stadium next week. Lou and myself played Pop Warner football together back in the day, along with my other friends in attendance (Erik Hubl and Nolan Ticer). He dropped a bomb in the 8th inning to right field on a 3-2 pitch. Simply put, he is a badass. Lou was also on the cover of the program for the 4-game series. Coincidence? I don't think so. Definitely American.

After the game, a group of 5 of us went around the town. We stopped at a local Wawa. The store was full of hoagies and shakes. However, on the unfortunate side, convenience stores in PA DO NOT sell beer/liquor. Thus, we were forced to find a place to consume alcohol. We ended up at the All-American Sports Pub (Weird?). The female bartender was psyched that their pub won the best wing contest and felt the need to tell us. We split a pitcher of beer and I meet Rick. Our convo:

Rick(taps my shoulder): Hey man, how you doin'?
Me: Nothing man, how's it going?
Rick: Oh man, I just got outta jail and just hit up some haze? Hey man, you smoke?
Me: No man.
Rick: Okay, you a chill guy bro. Real chill. Man, I am going to fuck this dude up. He took a dime from me and didn't pay. I went up to him and he was sweating. He is going to get it. I called Tony, it's on. He is coming from Philly. I am going to hit him with a Louisville Slugger. Hey, you got one I can borrow?

This convo went on for 45 minutes. No joke. It was ridiculous. Although on probation for a 5-yr. stint for alleged rape (as he told me) and another 9 1/2 month visit for beating up a dude, along with recent release from rehab, Rick felt the need to smoke purple haze and drink excessively. He told me I was a "chill cat" and a "solid dude" so many times I lost count. Thing is, I didn't explain more than about 2 things about my life. But, I was chill enough to be invited to watch Rick smoke a dude with a bat the next day. I was also asked to hide the bat and drive the getaway car. I am having a hard time saying whether or not this is American. Let me know what you think. . .

. . . After the bar closed, we walked to this field about 10 minutes away from our Hampton Inn. Fireworks are legal in PA (just like Missouri). We took advantage. It was also early on the morning of the 4th. AMERICAN!

New Era American Flag Caps

Many of you baseball fans may have seen these over this past 4th of July weekend. For those of you who have not, take a look. Baseball and American flags pretty much sum it up.

Happy Birthday America

Today is great day for America and the fellow Americans out there. I will be posting sometime this coming weekend about a fun trip to Pennsylvania that included a meth/crackhead named Rick. It was interesting and very (Midwestern) American.

Just a quick shout out for today - GO AMERICA and FUCK THE BRITS!!!

Have a safe 4th and wonderful weekend.

NY: Part I

Numerous American things took place last night. First off, a couple friends and I went to Yankee Stadium (1). For those of you who do not know, Yankee Stadium is in its last year of existence as they are ferociously building a new stadium for next season across the street. Right off the bat, I was doing American stuff in an American ballpark.


I went to the game with 2 very good friends of mine from back in the day, like we are talking Mohave Middle School in Scottsdale, AZ, circa 1998-2000. Ashely Ebbert, Nolan Ticer, and I were sitting in the bleachers (2). The bleachers are where the "Bleacher Creatures" reside. They are a loud, obnoxious contingency of people who bleed Yankee blue. Considering it is the last year of the stadium, more commonly known as the House that Ruth Built, they have a large billboard countdown in center field. Once the game is official, they have some person pull this lever and the number of games to be played in the stadium for the rest of the year goes down by one. We were at the 40th to last game in the stadium. After the completion of the 5th inning, this guy from a local Boys and Girls Club comes on the screen to pull the lever. This is what I hear:


Yankee fan in Giambi jersey shirt: "Pull the fuckin' lever already"
Yankee fan with backwards hat: "Go back to Belleville, you fuckin' bum" (3)

Great American things.

Turns out, the Yankees lose 3-2 to the Texas Rangers (UnAmerican). We decided we should drink some beers and wait to catch a later train back to Manhattan to avoid a crammed ride with a bunch of depressed fans. We end up at a place called Yankee Tavern a block from the stadium. As a side not, I bought a shirt on the way to the bar that said on the front in Boston font "Bahston Sawks Cacks" and on the back "And DICE K Swallows" (4). We enter the bar and sit down at the only three empty seats at the bar and buy a round (about $20). We meet Patrick, a 33-year old Bronx cop who tends bar a couple nights a week for his buddy, the manager. We get to talking about the Yanks and move onto Wrigley Field and then the University of Iowa. Pat loves Iowa people after meeting them at the Iowa-Northern Illinois game last year. I drop a little Hawks knowledge (thanks Chad) and more about Grinnell and Pat hits us with a free round of drinks.

We move on to talk about Notre Dame, as I tell Pat I was in South Bend for the miraculous Notre Dame win over Duke last year (both teams were 1-9 at the time). Pat also loves Scottsdale, AZ and would love nothing more than to buy a condo there, retire, and golf all the time. Eventually the manager comes over and starts talking baseball with us. He was a minor league pitcher and knew about Cedar Rapids, Burlington, and Clinton, Iowa from his stint in the Midwest League.

As the manager states: "I prolly got three kids over there in Clinton. It's a shithole, but I fuckin' love that place. I had some great times there." (5)

Soon after I meet their friend Johnnie. We start talking about the Giants Super Bowl victory this past February (6) and I find out that Pat is a Jets fan. A fucking Jets fan. Here is what Pat says:

"So my father is a Giants fan and he owned a bar when I was younger. In 1998, the Jets are playing the Broncos for the AFC Championship. The Jets go up 10-0 and all the Jets fans in the place start calling people asking if they can get off work to go to the Super Bowl and who wants tickets and whatnot. The place goes mad. My father, who is die-hard Giants fan, writes on the mirror behind the bar 'Let's Go Giants.' The Broncos come back and win. Fucking Jinx!" (7)

Johnnie works for the Yanks. He confirms A-Rod is a dickhead and that Derek Jeter is God's gift to everyone.

We become such great friends with the manager, Pat, and Johnnie that not only do we get free shirts, but Pat tossed back Nolan's credit card after about our 5th drink and said "I don't need your fuckin' money;" then proceeded to give us about 7 more drinks. They locked the doors about 2:30 and we just hung out till around 3:30 with these guys. We got about 12 drinks and only paid for our first round. A damn American night (8).



Pat is also working on getting us some Yanks-Red Sox tickets for this coming weekend. Keep your fingers crossed.

We got on the train, hit up McDonalds, and passed out at Ashley's apartment. It was awesome. I counted 8 American things in this blog, although we all well know that over 100 American things took place. Keep checking for more and more updates as the week continues.