San Antonio, TX

I was "down in the heart of Texas" for the marriage of Dell Swain to Christoper "Jonny" Villa this past weekend. Weddings bring together friends, booze, memories, and crazy events. This wedding did not disappoint.

First off, I went to the liquor store to collect some beverages on the night of the rehearsal dinner. As I accumulated the requests (i.e. Skyy Vodka, Cocoa-Cola, and Coors Light) I crossed 16 oz. cans of Busch Light. If you know me, I am a huge fan of the 16 oz. cans (see last weekends post). There remained something different about these cans though. Upon further inspection of the can, this was no normal Busch Light - it was a "TEXAS" Busch Light. Yes, the cans say "TEXAS" on them just in case you were confused about your whereabouts. You can see the red writing above the Busch on the can and the picture of Texas after the Light of the can:


Later that night the pure TEXAS Busch Lights were drank as many fellow Grinnellians flew in to San Antonio and checked into the hotel. Luckily, the open layout of the Presidential Suite allowed us to play many enjoyable games such as caps and poker. As many of our friends were heading to bed, a crew of us felt it necessary to experience the culture of the city. So, at 3 AM we decided to get into a cab and head towards one of those 24-hour clubs (think about it). On the way we asked our cab driver, Anthony, a simple question: Where can we get alcohol at 3 AM? He knew the answer. After a quick call to his buddy and some negotiations (we offered $20), we ended up on a dark block of manufactured homes in San Antonio. $25 bucks later we had a half full bottle of cheap tequila. Black market, previously opened, generic, cheap, 2-foot high gold trimmed bottle of tequila. Anthony waited to turn on his meter until we left his friend's house. Nice guy. We traded pulls from the bottle (terrible decisions) until we entered the club.

After our rendezvous at the club, Anthony picked us up. He had stored the tequila in the back panel of the cab van (yes, this is true). After a quick story about his van being searched by the local police (I was skeptical at his story) and 5-minute wait for Ken (groomsman) to get a phone number we were headed back to the hotel, bottle in hand. We strolled into the Crowne Plaza Hotel at 5:15 AM with our bottle and an Obama CD with a 5:24 song on it. However, our dignity was gone and either left on that dark block or somewhere in the back of Anthony's van.

The wedding went well the next night. I was thankful for a long day of rest, as my roommates know well. The ceremony was in a beautiful church in downtown San Antonio and the reception was definitely one of a kind. Trey Raney had the servers wrapped around his fingers as they were making custom quesadillas for him all night (just chicken w/ BBQ sauce). Along with a great cover band, which rocked their second and final set, other highlights included mashed potatoes in martini glasses, "going 100 m.p.h.," and new dance moves. After the reception, many Grinnellians sported Christmas sweaters out on the town to celebrate and continue the streak of the sweater party, as many people would not find it suitable in their schedules to travel back-to-back months to continue the December function.

I wish Dell and Chris a lifetime of happiness. Thanks to all for some of the most ridiculous times I have had in awhile.

The Walkman

Uh-merican Product Line
(Does NOT have to originate in America, just bring joy to Americans)

The Walkman was originated in 1979 by Sony. The reason: a chairman of Sony wanted to listen to opera on plane rides. The first Walkman was a cassette player; eventually the CD version was created in 1984 called the Discman. This name was later dropped.


With the transition to the Discman came the greatest features known to mankind -- ESP (Electronic Skip Protection), later known as G-Protection. G-Protection allowed the Walkman to read information on the CD ahead of time, placing it within it's memory and creating a buffer for the movement of the machine. This novel technology brought countless hours of joy to Americans who could now use a Walkman on roadtrips, adventures, and activities. The video below puts this all into perspective.



Personally, it did not get any better than strapping on a pair of rollerblades, turning on my Walkman (i.e. Sugar Ray, Limp Bizkit), strapping it to my front right belt loop, and enjoying a fantastic afternoon through suburban America. Thank you Sony for the Walkman.

Iowa City, IA

My friends and I decided back in August that attending an Iowa Hawkeyes football game was something of interest to us. So, this past weekend was our only opportunity to catch a home game, the last one of the season. We drove east at about 4:30 Friday afternoon for a great weekend of fun.


The trip started out on a good note thanks to a friendly challenge. This challenge was much along the lines of many of the ones I partake in or force upon others - "I bet you won't ..." Ours: I bet you won't finish a six-pack before we get out of the car in Iowa City. To add insult to eventual injury, the cans we used were 16 oz. Keystone Lights. Big moves.

After a loss (5/6 finished), we hopped out of the car to meet up with our Univ. of Iowa cronies. After our initial interaction with Mook, Chad's good friend from high school, Jonathan and I took off running to the convenience store. Why not? Seemed like a good idea at the time. After buying Beer 30 we decided that meeting people was necessary. We wandered down to the lowest floor of the first apartment on our way back. Our quick deliberation ended in deciding to knock on the door to the right as opposed to the left. The door opened to a girl wearing an Iowa soccer sweatshirt and a confusing look on her face. She looked at her roommates without saying a word, simply implying that we were friends with one her roommates. We obviously were not.

Another girl came to the door and we politely introduced ourselves. Turns out, we knew an ex -Iowa women's soccer player, having gone to Grinnell with her brother. This knowledge legitimized us and we were lucky enough to catch an episode of Dexter while drinking some beers. Our adventure paid off - we successfully met 8 of the Univ. of Iowa women's soccer team!

The next day we woke up around 8 AM and got to Kinnick Stadium around 9 AM. Thanks to the generosity of Wes Finch (who owns the car dealership in Grinnell) we had an additional 2 tickets plus a parking pass right near Gate B. It was prime real estate. The Hawks won 22-17. Shonn Greene (see pic below) was filthy - he put #3 of Purdue on two ESPN highlights on his way to 211 yards and 2 TDs.

Photo courtesy of ESPN.com

After the game and a small Grinnell reunion at miss Julia Veltri's apartment, Maury and I ended up a bar downtown with our friend Franklin, who is an extremely good salsa dancer. Upon leaving the bar Maury was hungry. We stopped in a sub shop and Maury started talking to a guy carrying a 24-pack of Miller Lite. He told us that he is a blackbelt. As he is explaining some key moves, the worker asks, "Who had the #5?" I looked around, as did others, and zero claims were made. I said, "The vito?" The worker corrected me, "No, that is Jimmy John's. This is the Godfather." I agreed and took the sub. Another guy looks at me and says, "Where the f-ck is my sub, this guy didn't even order!"

Yes, it was a great weekend in Iowa City. Americans were in attendance and various American moves were made.

October Observations

I took the past 12 weeks off from the blog minus some inadvertent posts. Now that the season is over I am back and stronger than ever.

Here are some things you may have missed out on:

Beardtober

As of 2007, the month of October has been renamed Beardtober. Festivities include a number of testosterone pumped males refusing to shave starting on Oct. 1st. In no way should Beardtober be confused with "No-Shave November" or "Jesus-Beard January." A defined, shaved neckline is acceptable and often encouraged, as well as straightening from ones sideburns down to their mustache.



Participation was excitingly higher this year than last. It is often comical to watch younger teammates grow patchy, skraggly facial hair. However, effort is rewarded. In fact, a celebration concluded the end of Beardtober, including an All-Beardtober team.

Some of these guys can find themselves on the 2008 All-Beardtober First Team.

Wild Turkey American Honey Whiskey


This wonderfully tasting liquor was actually seized from a convenience store in Bethany, Missouri by Jonathan Antrim this past summer. But, up until now, it was virtually extinct up here to the north. Thankfully, McNally's grocery store made a great life decision and began carrying it as of late. Not being a huge fan of whiskey, I was skeptical during the summer about the burning sensation common to 1 oz. samplings. No burn here; great tasting with a sweet honey aftertaste. A great pick-up this past weekend - in more ways than one. The name says it all, AMERICAN Honey Whiskey.

RV Classifications

The ability to be self-sufficient, save gas, and travel all in one package. These classifications are the simplest way to search for a life-changing vehicle. Here are the common N. American breakdowns (info from Wikipedia):

Class A - Constructed on either a commercial truck chassis, a specially designed motor vehicle chassis, or a commercial bus chassis. The addition of slide-outs, first appearing in 1989, dramatically changed the industry, as they allow a wider room than would fit on the road.

Class B - Built using a conventional van, to which either a raised roof has been added or had the back replaced by a low-profile body (aka coach-built).


Class C - Built on a truck chassis with an attached cab section, which is usually van based, but may also be pickup truck based or even large truck based. They are characterized by a distinctive cab-over profile, the "cab-over" containing a bed or an "entertainment" section.

Tony Romo Endorsement

Tony Romo signed the largest apparel and footwear sponsorship deal in NFL history a little over a month ago. Your "commonsensical gene" would urge to think the deal would be with Nike, Under Armour, Adidas, Reebok...


... but Starter? Yes, the deal is with Starter. 5 yrs/$10 million.


Don't get me wrong, Starter was sweet back in elementary school. Their jackets were the shit and made a loud statement amongst peers when playing hoops during the winter. But c'mon, its 2008 and the NFL has an agreement with Reebok. This means that Romo can not wear Starter gear on the sidelines. This deal makes no sense for both parties, unless Romo is trying to re-circulate this jacket among the U.S.:

349-173

Photo/artwork by Shepherd Fairey

Official Electoral Vote score.

Say goodbye to the old politics that trumped common sense for the past 8 years.

Say goodbye to unnecessary war, tax breaks for big business and the top 1% of the American people, Mavericks, conservative values, American egotism, treason, and outlandish spending.

Say goodbye to politics run by a group with a bigger target in mind - their long-run financial security.

Say goodbye to Bush, Cheney, etc. and welcome CHANGE.

Obama!

BIG WIN = SO AMERICAN!